As I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed my particular affinity for it. Getting older, I mean. It’s kind of a weird sentiment from what I can tell. How many times have you heard a friend fervently wish, “Oh, if I could just go back to being 21 again!”
Bah, I say. I’m not going to lie and tell my youngin friends that things get easier as the years roll by. You just get more used to living. More comfortable in your own skin.
Last night. 11:59 p.m. One minute til I turn 30. One long minute. I don’t know what I expected, but this was the first time I’d had any reservations about this whole new decade thing. Thirty. Whoa. Ok. But the moment passed.
Maybe we make such a big deal about the decade bdays, because it’s like a New Year’s Resolution x 10. Lose the weight, find the right career path, read more, spend more time with family, or more time communing with nature. All are quite respectable resolutions for any new year/decade, but I think I found the best one for me.
I’ve spent a lot of my life trying to force myself into the right body shape, demeanor, or personality (insert personal issue here). I’ve questioned myself, my intensity, passion, exhuberance, loyalty, but sometimes my quiet introversion. Pretty much, I’ve just worried too much for too long.
I think I’m done. This decade is for being myself and being proud of it. I am always willing to learn, to reflect, and be a better person, but all the little things that make me, me, are just fine. And that’s why I am glad to be 30.
Love Always,
Amanda Dawn
P.S. My phone inadvertently took this picture of me. I thought it was kind of perfect to sum this post up. Cheers.
It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live... 